almost free...

Almost there! Not just with Uni though - maybe, sort of, I think that I might be getting there in other ways too...

But firstly - this Friday is my first exam - then the following Wednesday is my last exam - it's almost all over, I'm almost free from wretched Uni! YAY!!! ^^!

But as to the other stuff - I think I've got a long ways to go - maybe... I'm free to be my own person - a servant of God, yet even as I know that, it seems like I'm trapped somehow. I'm not sure if it's because I'm still living at home and it seems like the whole house is keeping me down - maybe I'm ready to go. Maybe I'm ready - but why am I still so scared? What if the only thing that's stopping me from flying is myself? *sigh* I don't know, but if I find the answer I'll be sure to tell you.

Currently questioning,

Boni.

Procrastinating... -.-'

Yup. I am procrastinating - I'm supposed to be studying for my Communications Traditions exam that's on the fourth (Friday) of October. Two weeks to study, more or less, but I do have to study for my Law of Communications exam which is on the following Wednesday. Right now, I can't be bothered!! I'd much prefer to tell you about all the stuff that I haven't had a chance to write about. Well - not publicly, but you can bet your fuzzy pink toe-socks (Squuueeee! I jist lUff Fuzzy Pink ToeSockS! ^^!) that my Journal's heard all about it!!!

Like - My darling sister and I climbed up Mt. Taylor last Sunday (the 23rd) and blew bubbles up on the very tip-top of the world! At least, it was the tip-top in a direct vertical line down from our feet - but we'll ignore that fact!!! Heh - it just ruins all the fun....

And I went running around in the thunder storm yesterday evening - went and climbed a cliff and watched lighting play over the darkened skies of the city. Now that was cool. I doubt many people really know how obsessed I really am with thunderstorms. There's just something about them that speaks to me, and I just get so restless until I'm out in the wind and rain...

But enough of my random weirdness - well - not quite, 'coz I still don't want to study! >.>' So if I ramble please excuse me because I don't wanna stop, but I'm not sure I have much else to say - which in all actual truth that statement is not quite the truth because there is a lot I want to say, but maybe not now, maybe just because I don't even know what it is I want to say or will be saying, but in all retrospect - truth is so irrelevant anyway!

Meep! -.-' I think that line of thought had better stop there as there is no way I can follow it - though truthfully, I proably can.... And I'm just wondering whether or not any of you - whoever you are - can either? Which reminds me -

"I am who I think you think I am." Great isn't it? That was Cooly's Looking Glass Self. Which leaves me with a sore brain - not that I don't understand what he's trying to say - no, it's more this:

Well, if I am who I think you think I am - where does my whole "Running from the image that I think you think I am thing" come in? As in, if I really am who I think you think I am - that really doesn't work for me - as in, I think that I am the opposite of what I think that you think I am - at least I try to be the opposite!!! Meh - maybe I'm not. But if I think that you think that I am boring - does that really make me boring as I think that I am not boring, or at least try not to be boring and that it has nothing to do with what you think I am therefore???

O.o ...

Now you know why I have a sore brain! Not really - but hey - itsn't all fun?? ^^

Lol - please comment if you wish - I think it'd be great to hear what you think I am and whether or not I really am whom I think you think I am!

TTFN - TinkaBell

Watching and waiting....

Got my presentation over and done with (Thank goodness) and I got a credit plus on my essay which I had been totally stressing over!!! Would have got a distiction if I could speak "literary-ese", but I'm happy with what I got as it is - as in more like absolutely stoked! ^ ^

Just a quick note - I'm twenty in three days and that is sooooo incredably scary!!!! But hey, just another beat of my butterfly wings life... I'll live on, love on and DEFINATELY rock on!!!


Off to practise my layouts -

TinkaBell

Nose to the grind stone

Really putting my head down, and my socks up... I may be well and truely over Uni for this semester, but I'm getting on as I only have four weeks and two days until my exams are over, and I'm FFFFRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So. For now it's all about work, work, work as I really have to finish my last assessment peice and start studying for my exams. = P Even as I write this I just go - bleeergh... Icky work. But anyways, that's enough of the that. It's movtivation time!!!

Off to do some more Uni work after a 9:30 to 3:30 tut/assignment slog,

Boni.

Honey - I'm home!

Well, not really - but I'm back from Stump and I am still struggling with the whole getting "back to reality" (reality bites....) thing. But 'neways, I gotta get into my Uni work as there are only five weeks (ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!) until my exams is over, and I'm free for the rest of the year!!! BUT before I start cheering, I really gotta survive my exams first... >.>' *sigh* Oiy.

Besides that I'm having fun hanging with my friends and Crew so's it's all good. Distracting, but good. ^ ^ !


Oooo_uT for now,

TinkaBell.

Black SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTUM-PH!!!

Wella - it's gonna be ab-so-bally-LUTE-ly rockin' - I'm so syced about it! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ^_^

I'll up date on the way it goes later - but for now, I'm just hanging out for the fun to start. I'm planning to see Sons of Korah, Antiskeptic, Wishful Thinking and many, many more.... Dude. That is so freakin' awesome. I just hope I got everything, or there might be some issues... Naw. I't'll b kool. But that is one problem with camping - it is sssooo easy to forget something!!!

off for a stupendious trip-

Boni. ^_^

going crazy

Black Stump's on this weekend and I can't wait to get there!!! It's gonna be absolutely nuts! Whooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm in a bit of a wild mood tonight - I think it's the thunder, it always gets me restless, like I'm riding on the front of the wind, streaming over dancing treetops - spiraling high through the black thunder-heads... I'm riding the storm tonight and I'm not ready to stop.....




Tinka.

*silence*

Well. Stuff hasn't been that good this week, I had a 30% assignment due at the end of the week and I didn't know what to do on it... Yep, I procrastinated and procrastinated and procrastinated until it was the due day. I spent six hours straight on the computer finishing it off, and then I couldn't print it out so I have to wait until Monday to hand it in after all that!!! >0<

Having guy probs again... Sometimes I can cope with being single an' I love it, but sometimes, sometimes it just hits me. That lonely ache. Like when I'm hanging with guy friends, or watching movies with realllllyyyyy REAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY hot guys like Alex Capelli, who plays in "Hating Alison Ashley"... *drools* Uuwahhh! I luff Alex. >.>'
Then I go from having a buried little lonely ache into a big, huge, giganta-MONGUS lonely ache!! Guess I'll just have to stop watching movies with Alex Cappelli
and Omarion Grandberry in them. .................................................... yeah, right! -.-

Check y'all l8r,

T.

Quick note-

Just dropping in to say that I love snowshoeing, best friends, hanging out with the Crew, staying out late, sleeping in, my new bag, waiting for exciting stuff, music, and gymnastics. Other quick note to say I hate assignments, breaking down cars, spending my saved money, boys, being tired, ends of holidays, boys, not having enough time, not knowing what to do with essays, BOYS, and that little lonely ache I get some times....

That's about my life over the last week or so, and what it's consisted of.
Adios amigos,

Bonita. (a.k.a Tinka)

OOOOO- YAY!!!!!

"I'm walking on sunshine - whoaaaayeaHHH!"

So totally describes my mood right now - I'm walking sunshine !!!! An' don't feel good?? HOOO YE_AHHHH!!!! Why you ask? Just because!!! No, actually, there are lots of reasons - one of them being that I've finished the rough draft of an important essay due this Friday, and all I have to do is get my Dad to check it, and it's done!!! AND because I went on this awesome camp over the weekend - FREEZE. It's for yrs 12 to 25ish and it was GREAT! I learned HEAPS about God through His Word, and I had awesome time with my friends.

The best thing I learned was that even though I fail misarably at honoring God more often than not ( >.>' ), it doesn't matter because in Jesus I am made 10/10 with God! YAYYAY!!!! ^ ^ Of course that doesn't mean I can go living how ever I want, because then there are serious consequences, but if in my human weakness, I fall (ok, and I do that a lot) He'll pick me up, and it's all good. Thankyou God.

And beside that - it's just a Bea-UUUUtiFUl spring day - number seven to be exact - and I'm soo happy.

My prayer is that anyone who reads this may find the same joy and peace I've found. It's not too far away, just reach out for God and He will answer.

Lots of LOVE, Tink.

P.S. Can't forget the other reason why I'm so happy - it's Class Free for Uni students for the next two weeks, and I might be going to visit my bestie in Jindabyne next week which'll be awesome! yay. ^ ^

On top of things - for now

Coping for now with assignments, work, friends and life - I think eveything's ok atm. *nodds head* yep. It's all good. *claps hands* Yayyyy!!! >_<

I have an assignment due this Friday, and I'm getting on with it ok - I did a big one last week, and got it in ten minutes before the dead line (MEEEP! O.o' ) *shush - don't tell Daddy!* , I was so relieved when that was finished. I wasn't late because I left it to the last minute - no, in fact I think I spent too much time correcting. All up I spent ten hours on it - I hope that was enough... I really want to do well with the assesment.

Had fun out with my Crew on Saturday night, and I'm going away to FREEZE this weekend! No - not literally, ( or maybe literally?!? There's a thought! >.> ) Anyway, FREEZE is this awesome camp for year 12s to Uni age (about 25 year olds), in Cooma. We get great Bible teaching, and have fun fellowshiping with other denominations, and make new friends. It's GR-8!! = )

Well, that's it from me for now -

Huasta Leugo,

TB_o.

Hard

It's so hard when your best friend get a boyfriend. I mean, it's not like I'm unhappy 'coz she's got one. In fact I think it's great. It's just that she wants to spend her time with him. Mostly more than she does with me. I know that she's proabably not doing it on purpose - she's not the kind of girl to intentionally hurt anyone. It's just the way things go sometimes. But that doesn't make me feel any better when I'm the one getting ditched!!!

*sigh* Ahh well. Maybe it'll give me a chance to get to know some other people better. = ) I'm sure it'll be ok. I think I just need to talk to her a bit. Commmunication pretty much always helps!!

This theory of mine, by the way, has never failed me yet! ^^

Signing out for now,

T.

Bleeeggch

I hate not getting good marks, and I almost died over my last lot of marks, but hey, I gotta get it wrong sometimes eh? Just like when we were playing hang-man in my tutorial, before the tutor came, and I couldn't spell right!!! >< meh. It's all good. Had a good day at work today, and I've finally got an MP3 player - yeah, I had to save up - not enough dough.... *sigh* It's so awful when your a poor uni student... ~_^

Me thinks that be all the news so far - so have a good one everyone, and I'll check y'all 'round l-8aaaaa!!! = ) T.

Too much?

I haven't got much ta say - just that isn't amazing how you can get hooked from one thing to another? I dunno about you, but I find that happens to me like all the time.

Like (ugh I hate that word, but whatever...) when I watch a movie that's got dance in it - it's like all I want to do is dance... And if someone's talking about writing, or drawing, or something like that I get hooked on that too. There is SOOOOOOOO much stuff I wanna be good at - drawing, dance, music(learning to play the guitar!!!), writing, gymnastics and horseriding are just like the first few that are really important to me - then there's iceskating, soccer, photography, singing, and goodness only knows what else.... o! Snowboarding, computing, learning languages... Can anyone tell me - is there such a thing as TOO many hobbies???? I really am beginning to think that there is. I mean, how can you ever really be good at anything if you don't focus solely on that thing??

Maybe I have to just stick with learning the guitar, writing, drawing and gymnastics. For now. Maybe... Gah - dunno when, maybe when I'm older I'll learn some of the other stuff. Maybe.

Husta Leugo,

Tinka.

To dance the night away...

Whee!! I'm off to a "Heros and Villians Ball" and I'm going as a villian!!!

I was going to go as Posion Ivey, but as I didn't have the right clothes, I changed my mind and now I'm the Snow Queen from The Chronicles of Narnia. ^^ Woot - sooo much fun!!
Oh yeah - and a BIIIIEEEEEEGGGGGG

Happy Birthday

to my gorgeous sister who is now fifteen!

Off to dance...

Tinka

Killiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes - killiiii (Kill - e) is the cry of the day when my stupid computer crashes!! *sigh* I wrote my microstory (400 words) for my Creative Writing class and than the program stuffed up and I lost it! I was ssoooo unhappy. And I had to write it over again - and of course, I couldn't remember the exact words. It's soo frustrating when that happens.

But I got over it, and wrote it again. I had to. And I'm not sure - but I almost think the story's better for it. But anyways, gotta go and get ready for work now -

Check ya, T.

Shruggs

Why is it that I always go and screw up everything???

Seriously, have you ever been on a roll - speaking out in your class, being friendly, doing something outside of yourself, and you've caught a weird glance from someone - anger, disgust, or horror?

I don't know what it is - but, *sigh* sometimes that happens to me - like today I talking in our discussion in our Tut. - not all the time, but at the end of the discussion, I caught something indescernable from my tutor - something not good, and I wonder if I've screwed up - talking to much or something. I was just trying to give feedback, but maybe I gave to much.

And even if I wasn't the intended reciepiant of the glance - I still question myself, and the way others veiw me. Am I really that insecure??? I guess I am. If the truth be told, I not sure if anyone else can see my insecurities - and I'm starting to feel that's a bad thing. Maybe. I DON'T KNOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! >X O It's so frustrating - excuse my screaming, but I had to. How do other people see me????

Maybe I don't really want to know. It's not like I have a ton of friends, or a boyfriend for that matter - guess there's a reason. What it is I don't know, and I think if I did....


I'd break.



I'm the way I am, and no-one likes me like that. *plays the world's shortest tune, on the world's smallest violin* Sob-sob (sarcastically) I am so pathetic.


So, sorry all for the dump. I know I'm being stupid - or maybe I'm stupid full stop.

Your fool for life,

TinkaBell_o


Heck, a nickname like that - and I wonder why I'm so weird??? O.-

Ka-CHoO!!!

Headaches, sniffles and a nasty 'flu virus.... *sigh* Not cool. 'Specially when I've got work to do!!! Gah. Bye.

Have you?

Have you ever just written - not thinking what you are saying, but just getting your current thoughts down on page - hold you high and steal your pain, 'coz I'm broken, when I'm lonesome - and I don't feel right when you've gone... Sitting by the rain streaked window... Playing, listening to the music of loneliness... Giving into the weakness... When I'm lonesome....

Meh. You really can't do that when your listening to a song - the words in your head - your voice, is drowned out by the more powerful emotions and words that the song betrays. How can an ordinary sound be heard when it is flooded with the extrodinary?

Anyways, I think that that's enough of that - though I did get a interesting little piece (bout 300 words) done when I was given a random phrase by someone out of my Creative Writing Tutorial - which, by the way, was heaps of fun. But my 400 word microstory, plus my discussion notes have to be written in a week's time. At least it'll be over and done with then!!

Practising

It seems that I can never get to a point of 'good' work with either my art or writing. I guess that's the whole
"Those who are satisfied with medeocrity will always succeed, but those who are only satisfied with perfection will always fail." But as comforting as that is for my thing about always failing, it doesn't help when I can never get there. Anywhere!

It would be nice to able to look at something I've done and say - yes, that is good work. In the meanwhile, I guess it's all about practising. That's the only way you get anywhere. By working. >.> I think it makes what you acheive more worthwhile. But it's so hard to get to the point of acheivement. But that's just my opinion!

adios.