Dropping off the radar

Sorry to anyone who's interested about the lack of up-dates. I just happen to be going through a really stressful time right now.

What with the low of exams - Thank the Lord they're over - the high of going out with my friends, the low of finally admitting to myself that I HAVE to stop liking the guy I like, and the high of holidays - I've just been up and down on an emotional rollacoaster all week!!! O.* '

It's killed me I must admit. I am soooo tired. I just want for everything to go away, to settle down in a cottage with a nice RIDEABLE horse just out side and a beach on my front doorstep. Meh, I wish.....

*sigh*

Anyway, I'm sure things will start to look up soon. Though SoL hasn't got off the ground as of yet, and that's kind of being messed up. Never mind. Things will change, and in the mean time, the Lord is with me.

Adios, Tink.

---- Silence ----

Heheh. Can't think straight - I'm sooo starting to get really nervous. These exams are going to kill me!!! Gah. Gotta stop being so negative about them. *takes a deep breath* No, I'll be fine. It's going to be okay.

I'm going to a part-A, I'm going to a part-AAA!!!!! Yey! This weekend (yes - the weekend before exams) is my bestest friend's 18th birthday party. It's gonna be great fun!

But right now, I don't feel like celebrating for some reason. I'm in a silent mood I guess. I'm not really sure of the characteristics of a silent mood - besides the silence (DUH), but it's definately a grey mood. Hmm. Dunno why though. It's not the exams, and it's not financial troubles, or lack of socialness. It's not because things are bad - God has been extremely good to me and my family. I'm not sure why I feel this way, but I do. *whaaa* I need a hug!!! :'(

*sighs* owell, back to life. At least I don't have to stand on my own - I know that He is with me, and that's better than anything.

Down in the grey for now,
Tinka.

Perfect

"It's got to be - ooohohyeah - per_fect. It's got to be - ooohohhhoyeah - peeeerrrrrr _FECT!"

The last week has been the topest week ever! Super-duper busy, but still tops. It all started Saturday night, when I went to the UBD gig, then hung out with my friends til 2:00am. Then on Sunday I had a great day at my new work, Hill Station, then my Dad AND Mum both got new jobs as well, (THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU LORD!) then I got that Report done, then I went to my friend's 20th after painting him his Birthday present ( picture which I think he liked ) and then I hung out with my friends again, then I went to work on Friday night, which was good, and THEN on Saturday I had a sleepover with my sister, and her friend which was really fun, and today's been really good and everything is just better then PERFECT!!!!!!!!!!

*happy sigh* I think I'm am finally moving off that crush as well, even though I totally got it back last weekend, but now I hope I'm able to move on. But that's really good. Only have to survive my exams - and squeeeeeeee! I'm just loving life! Time for bed now though,

Kisses an' Huggles,

TinkaBell ~_^

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT

I have had the BESTTTT weekend - got to go to a Use By Date concert Saturday night, got a new job, which is turning out to be super-fantastic, had soooo much fun with my friends Saturday night - Wheeee! I'm so happy! Thankyou Lord for being the bestest!
Mind you, I'm also happily tiredddd. Stayed up 'til 2:00 am Sat., and couldn't go to sleep 'til 12:00 am last night. I can hardly keep my eyes open. And I still haven't finished that @#)#$$ report that's due this Wednesday first thing, and I have to work tomorrow at 11:00 am to about 3:00 - 4:00, maybe later... And biggest narky thing of all - my exams are in two weeks time, including this week. --- *sigh* ---
But once all that is over, life'll be really sweet for a while. I'm getting my car (FINALLY) soon, and with the cash flow, and friends, and SoL, it's gonna be pretty awesome. Just gotta get through these last two weeks. Please Lord, give me strength.

Yours half happy, a quarter tired and a quarter scared,

Tinka.

Work - or rather procrastintation.

So much work to do and all I can do is procrastinate... I have a lot of stuff that I have to do at home, and tomorrow is my only day to do it. AND tomorrow is going to be chokers with an interview, running my sister around, and going to Tugganerong to drop in a resume and go shopping for the UBD concert. At least, my sister's going shopping - I'm just the chauffeur!

Gah. Okay, sorting stuff out... Can't do IMEC prep. here (at Uni), can do C.F. prep. and some of my Report for IMEC. Alrighty, really should be working now.... Now.... Now.... Now..... Now...... Now........................................................ >>'

Gah. Bye. T.

OHHH!

USE BY DATE ARE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oooohhh ye-aH!!! ^^

I can't believe I almost forgot to tell the world - Use By Date are back in business!! SQUEEEE! *.* I don't know for how long, but they're playing a gig next Saturday night, and I'm soooo stoked. (If I had my way, this font would be gittery gold, but plain gold was as close as I could get!) Man, next Saturday is going to ROOOOCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about the double post, I just had to inform everyone of the happy, happy news!!! *bounces off singing to herself* Forever, forever, forever - Eternity!!!!

Byyyeee - Tink. ^^

New again

It is a new month again - gee, time flys so quickly - I hardly know where the days go. This month is exams - actually, they're in three weeks time (meep!) and I've got one report to do and that's all the major assesment then this term is over. OVER! OVER I TELL YOU! That is so scary - I could hardly imaigine going to Uni, and now, I'm almost at the end of my cross-over program.

Good stuff has been happening though - got an interveiw which I hope will work out, Rusty is being an ABSOLUTE pain, but is sloooowwwwllly coming right, I'm getting on with my graphic novel, and I will soon be free to start up my band! Sweeet Dude, totally swweeeeet! ^-^

*sigh* Thanks God for being so awesome, and helping me through life.

Gotta go, T.

SupA chic

Dear Diary,

I met this guy at a show,
He was singing to me - at least I think so...

Ha. Take off Super [Chick] , I know - but so true. That's how I fell over into a huge crush for... Well, a huge crush on my crush. (Sooo not mentioning any names - you never know who might read this!!!)
I'm still not over him, even after months of mix-ups, not speaking to each other, only MSNing, living (or DIEING) through another girl.... Whaaaa!!!! That still hurts! No, he didn't get her, but he told me alll about it! >< *sigh* and telling him off, ever so slightly, then him being nice to me - *shock*, instead of ignoring my exsistance..... Yeah, I know. I'm so pathetic, yearning after a boy who barely knows me, let alone cares for me. Yet, as much as I would, I can not steal my heart back.

Anyway, enough of pathetic girlyness, - hmmmm, that's so weird. I was just reading over wht I had written, and I think I realise the problem. He is just a boy. So far, not that I can really judge, 'coz he won't communicate with me the important stuff (like the thoughts in his head), he is just a boy. Not a man. ................................

Whoa. That's really big. I guess I would also describe myself - through a guy's eyes, as just a girl too. And maybe that's everything. How can a boy really commit to anything, and how can a boy protect my heart? And how can I, as a girl, be the woman he needs to stand at his side - to give him what he needs. .......................

I've just has a major revelation. What I'm looking for the man I need. Not to live - for all I need for that is God, but just to not be lonely, to have someone who shares how I work, think, what makes me me, and delights in that on this Earth. And for that I need a man. Not a boy. Maybe I should be gald that my crush doesn't notice me. For if he proved to be the man I need, would I prove to be the woman he needs? O. That's a gigantious thought.

At the moment, however, I don't think the guy I like is a man. I don't know for sure, I don't know him all that well, for he won't let me know him well. But in any case, from what I can tell, what he's said to me, he still just a boy - wanting to have fun, and not caring how he gets it.

That's sad. I wish it weren't that way, but it is. What will be, will be.

All in the Lord's timing,

TinkaBell.

-_-

Wheee!!! Had my best friend sleep over last night - we got sleep at a decent time (1:00 am) but still slept in 'til 11:30... *blink* I don't know why I'm tired. Maybe (most proably!) it's the thought of Uni tomorrow. Yuck... Owell.

Haven't gotten very far with ah - I forgot the name... I think I also lost the notebook where I put the idea down in as well. Rats. I really am gonna have to find it, or I won't get my graphic novel done at all.

*zzz* Gotta go now,

T.

Oekaki sweet-i_ness!!! ^^

WoooT!!! I founded the bestest thing eva!!! It's called an Oekaki Board, and basicly it's a place on the 'Net where you can go and draw really prettttyyyy (uwahhh! >.<) pictures. It's got the same sort of set up as a basic photoshop shop deal - so it's realllyyyy uber-ly awesome. The one I draw on ('coz there's heaps you can choose from) is Oekaki Central - here's the link.

http://www.oekakicentral.com


Hope any other loving to draw peoples enjoy this cool way to improve and show off your art as much as mesa. 'Neways, gotta go an' draw a pretty piccy - Byee!!! T.

I'd do anything!!!

"I close my eyes..... I try to sleep, I can't forget you..... I'd do anything for you!" Go Simple Plan!!!!!! Whoooooo! They rocK!!!

I love their music, but even more I like making my own music. In case you can't guess where this is going, I'll tell you. At the end of the semester I am going to start up my own band - Shades of Light, or S.O.L. for short. (Pronounced soul.) And it's gonna rock! As soon as I can find more members besides me, I'll be able to start it up. I'm looking for dedicated Christians who want to spread God's Word and have a some fun too! ^-^ After I've found them I guess I'll see where it goes.


But that's not all that's happening. My bestest bud came up for the weekend, and we had a great time!!! I can't wait - coz in a month or so her 18th B'day is coming up, and she's throwing a weekend long pAr_tA!!!!!! It's gonna be sooooo SWEeeT. In the mean time, I gotta get on with my work.


Signing out,


T.


P.S. Check out this kwel quote from a friend of mine - "So I've taken 1 step forward, walked around till my head spun, then realised I'd fallen over. Upon picking myself up, I also realised that I'd only hurt my head, and moved back a spot."

*sniff*

Blerrgh... I'm sick with a nasty 'flue virus. I'm going to bed now. Meh, don't ask why I even bothered to do this - my head is spinning around... Owell, that's craziness for you. *Sneezes* Ick. I hate being sick....

T *sniff* out.

Empty

Got my essay done.

That's it from me today.

I'm off to watch Freaky Friday.

Bye.

Eyeeeed.

So tired. I still haven't finished that darn essay. I was supposed to do it today, but I went iceskating last night, and didn't get enough sleep. Now I can't think straight. It's almost like my mind is still stuck half-way in dreamland. It hasn't made the transition into the real world, it didn't get enough time to run through sleep-circle last night. Gah.

'Nighty-nite, T.

Conversation

Aw rats.... Can't find enough of the conversation to make sense 'coz even though I saved all the letters I got, I didn't save my replies....

Owell. The basic gist of it was that guys can be an absolute pain when letting a girl (who maybe screaming in her head for the guy to do something!) know how he feels. Of course, to be fair it is really hard to open yourelf up for rejection.

My feeling was that if a guy really likes a girl, he will tell her because that feeling will overcome his fears. On the other hand, as my friend pointed out, if a guy really likes a girl, it could also make things worse, because the fear of rejection from someone who means so much to you can be very real and very hard to overcome.

I think that was about it actually.

Bye again, T.

"Go-ing under_"

Got a huge essay due on Monday - it's worth 30%... Yuck.

But on the plus side, I'm going iceskating tomorrow night with my Focus friends so that should be really awesome. It's kind of weird, the way things are going right now. I want things to be different and exciting, but at the same time I wish everything would settle down.

We had our group presntation due today, and we aced that - which is cool. But why does everything feel so topsy-turvey? Like my life isn't the right side up or something? I'm feeling strange, like I've suddenly gone all smooth - changed into a ball and slipped out of my triangluar hole in life. I don't know. My work is going reasonably well, I'm hoping I'll get a H.D. in both my classes. I need to prove some stuff to some people. I love all this new stuff I'm learning - bah. I just don't know what the flip is going on around me. I'm standing still, at the center point of today, while yesterday and tomorrow are blurring as they circle me.

Pfffft.... * * *

I'm over it.

* * *

I'm still searching for a job, I hope something comes along soon.


I was having an interesting conversation with my friend via e-mail the other day, unfortunately I may not have it all as I didn't save my letters. However, I put as much as I can up on the next post. It might be helpful for those with issues with the opposite sex. (Yeah, my friend's a guy, so we have both points of veiw.)


Thought of the Day: What's your eternal life expectancy?

Ciao,

Tink.

Woot -

I've got a job interveiw this evening - I hope I get called back! It's a group interveiw for a cinema, but I'm not sure how many people are going to be in this group. Apparently, I'll go in and if they like me, they'll call me back again, for a single interveiw. Oh, pllllleeeeaaaaasssssssssseeeeee let me get this job!
Night work will mean extra rates or whatever, maybe a higher flat rate, but I bet you anything it'll be way better than $10.00 an hour which is all you get for waitressing! Plus, it'd fit in so neatly with my Uni schedule it's not funny. So the long and the short of it is that I really want this job.
And I really want to be not broke anymore! New clothes are a must, and I might be getting a car soon! Which'll be really awesome!
I want an old-school VW Beetle, but I'm not sure. I might end up with something else. The biggest requirement for me is that it is fuel-effeciant. Poor, broke, proverty-stricken Uni student that I am, I don't really care if it doesn't go that fast *gasp-shock-horror* or whatever. I just need to save every penny where-ever I can. Heheh, maybe I can find some helpful (Gah - what am I saying?) boy to do a bit of tuning up for me.
I know Beetles can be modified a bit, and I think that'd suit me nicely. I really wish I could get a NICEEEE car - but meh, owell, maybe later, when I've made my fortune as a novelist/journalist! (I wish!)

I've gotta bounce - I'll see ya'll later,

Tinka.

Dam Boys!!!!!!!!!!!!

Black and blue, black and blue. That's the color I would like to see all boys.... They are sooo frustrating. I never know where I stand with any of them! *sigh* My crush is being an absolute pain - nice and friendly one moment and blowing me off the next... What does it mean when a guy is happy to talk to you, but doesn't want to see you at all???

I guess I'll never know.

Grey today, T.

Stuff

I've decided to put up another site of interest - or maybe it's not. Meh. I dunno! Anyways it's - http://www.photobucket.com/


I think that if you go there and do a search, you'd probably find heaps of interesting stuff. You could look up my album, Etches, as well! >.> Not that I have much stuff in it yet anyways. But I am gonna keep updating it. It'd probably get more stuff in it if I had the proper programing to ink and color my artwork. I could do it by hand, but either way I don't have enough dough to buy the gear I need. To do it on the computer or by hand... #_+ |!f3 $uX$ - $0 Ph34r Me!! Heh. Eyah, I know that's a direct MegaTokyo quote, or at least the last part is. The "|!f3 $uX$" is alll mine.

Meh. I'm bored, in case you couldn't tell. XP. Stupid nothings to do on Friday nights. Geez - you'd think there's something I could do, or somewhere I could go!!!

Right that does it - I'm off to round up some friends and go out.

Signing out, |-_!_|\|_|<_4...>

New times are a coming...

No - it's not some cry for the world - that it's all "Coming to an end", it's just my way of welcoming in the new month. Everyone, say Hola to April. *crowd roars* Hola!!!!

New month already. Gee, I can't believe I've been at Uni for 6 weeks already. It's kind of scary how fast stuff goes.

Oh yeah, I've been accused of whinging about guys on this site, but I just wanna say that's not quite correct. I am not whinging - I am merely verifying my feelings of frustration through verbal or rather, in this case, written, expression. But hey, at least it's better than punching out some poor (or not so poor) guy!!

Anyway, I've got to go write my essay and design a guitar for a friend,

Adeu, T.