Found this....

Found this on my friend's (very much miss-eded little sister in a certain place in a certain country - give a guess... Yup, T.R. Scotland) Bebo page, loved it so much I'm posting it up asap. Mind you, in re-reading these I feel the sudden urge to comment...


Peter Kay's Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. (So don't... Maybe in Boy World, but not in mine. Is it because 'Mummy' always cut 'em that way? Yes. That was sarcastic.)

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. *sigh* Accurate obervation I'm afraid. I could make a "Male Chauvinist Pig" comment here, but I think what would be the most appropriate return would simply be - "It's my party and I'll cry if I want too..." If anyone has ever listened to the words of that song, you'll probably understand the REAL meaning as to why there's always a girl crying at the end of a party. They are NOT always joyous occasions peoples!!! *finishes rant*

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when yourpint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. Considering the making it through the lines for the girl's toliet is quite like a trek up Mt. Everest (it takes a billion LIGHTYEARS) I'm sure we (the female spieces in general) don't have this problem as much. You learn to HOLD your liquids... Although if there are any females out there that wish to disagree - go right ahead. I'm more than willing to be proved wrong.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps. *snort* Green crisps - er, CHIPS in Aussie lingo (not Scottish!) are the best. Closest thing you can get to green eggs and ham on a regular basis. Yum!

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008into a calculator. Really? Whatever.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible. Considering that your mental capacity is severely diminished - I'd believe that.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. *giggles* Wouldn't know - but I'll take your word for it.

8) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. Come to Australia - then you'll know for dead cert!!! *buzzer noise* Soooo illegal!

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. I do! I do dare!!! I defy the rules of Cup-a-Soup and make it in a bowl. Hey, it even could be a Facebook group - (Just another one of the zillion, squilion of 'em - no, I won't torture you and actually create it. >0<)

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana. Lol. 'Nuff said.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat. Much like a wet dog?

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly. I love this statement 'coz you can totally tell it's true eh girls.

14) Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball. Or a tennis ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. *raises eyebrow* I think you're alone on this one mate... This is not a universal truth but a personal one, 'coz there are many, many, many enthusiasts (Known to all non-horsey people as The Mental Horse Lovers - yes, capitals are necessary.) that love that noble animal, the Equus caballus that would never feel a shred of fear to stroke a horse. Yes, I'm proud to be one of 'em.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school. Um. Not if you were homeschooled....

17) the most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad. Or your boss... Even worse - trust me!

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. *eee* Evil monkeys! So true! Of course, chickens are worse.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches. Nothin' ground breaking about this one. True enough.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half-way through and then raced against the flush. *cough* Boys.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong. Old men do too!!

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. Agree a 100% - you just look silly picking up a fallen Frisbee - one of Murphy's Laws I suppose.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. Oh ayyyyeeee..... *Is very sarcastic*

24) You never ever run out of salt. Yup. You many run out of different varities of salt, but there is always salt in the cupboard.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think. So can young ladies - they just don't like to let on!

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. *snort* I can't respect a woman either. Paz Hilton anyone? SO not.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something. *shudders* Don't lets even go there.

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers. Maybe it's from that place that the one sock of your pair goes to - maybe the metal coat hangers are the socks in their afterlives!!!!!!!!! I mean - it's true, you don't know where the socks go; or where the hanger come from...... >>

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. Nope - can't say I have. However, I know that the most unlikely of animals usually have a nasty surprise, so it's not like you'd try anything - right?!

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug. Ayia - bandit! How much does that HURT!!!!!!! (And barefoot is worse... Happens alot more here too.)

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard. Totally! I swear one of these days, my poor car is going to be shaken to bits by violent people who don't stop to consider the sanctity of the car door.

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. Or your Mum the day you try to resurect a bag of rotten veggies 'coz you don't want to waste stuff.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose. Er - I hope I didn't miss out on an important childhood delevopement expiriance; 'coz I didn't... Ah! So that explains it!

34) Bricks are horrible to carry. Too true.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip. Or two.

36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. *Shakes head* I fear for the male population if that's as good as it gets.... Ohwell, nice knowing you!



Hope you enjoyed the randomness as much as I did -

TTFN, b.