Baby Talk Part II ~ The Trials and Tribulations of Being the First Mommy in your Circle.

So you’ve done it.   Out of your artsy, singleton, cool hipster circle you are the first to settle for the Husband, House and 2.5 Children.

You’ve crossed the line to official adulthood, even if you still feel like you’ve got a long ways to go until you get there.  {When I grow up, I’d like get a novel published!}

Now what do you do?  

I’ve read quite a few stories about Moms who are the last of their circle to get with the baby program, and how awkward they found it.

“Little Jimmy has pink eye…”  

“Oh, um, that’s not good.”

*silence*

“And Chelsea is getting to be such an excellent ballet dancer, I am sure she’ll get a part in the end of year production.”

“How wonderful.”

*more silence*

“……”

“I think I’ll go get another drink.”

*escapes*

Just like that invisible lines are drawn in the metaphoric sand.   You vs. Them.   Married vs. Single.  Children vs. The Goldfish. 

Want to know why?   Baby Talk.   That’s why.  Being the last ~ being the first, it seems to be much the same boat.   The one christened “The Only Equals So Lonely”.  Because when you are the only one in your circle to be that stage of life you are pretty much stuffed when it comes to conversation.

Yeah, my girlfriends are so not dying to hear about my indigestion issues {These days I am relying heavily on Mylanta which is an Antacid.  ‘Nother words ~ OLD people medicine!}, or that I had to buy a bra TWO sizes bigger than my regular size and it’s only been three months!!

And all this new found knowledge that I have on the female body during this time?  Oh, you can definitely keep THAT to yourself!!  When Sister number Two, who is studying human biology, and I got into a friendly discussion about *mumble*  cervixes *cough* and their nature all I heard from Sister number Four was “EEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!   Can you NOT!???” 

Mind you it turned out I was right {Google is good for something!} but in the meantime I found out that Sisters Two, Three and Four pretty much do not want to know all the scintillating facts that I have uncovered through hours of trawling the Wide Webs for information.   {Well, my doctor wasn’t coughing up the goods ~ I had to find out this stuff somehow!}

So what do we talk about? 

The topics that they know.  Single boy dramas, runs in with the local Lady Loves to Make You Miserable, uni trouble, travel, work ~ all the things that used to be the centre of my conversations oh, about a year ago?

It’s not like I have forgotten what life was like at that stage, and of course I love hearing about all the things that are important and even the not so important to them.  Basically because if they didn’t share this stuff then I’d be really upset because we don’t talk anymore!  Ugh.  Don’t want to even go there.  It is not a happy place to be.

But it’s also hard because the things that are important to me now, like babies and houses and housekeeping ~ not so much on the conversation role.

So I guess I kind of feel like it ends up being one sided sharing….   What do I do?  Wait until they catch up to my stage of life and then share all the stories? 

Or just start another blog so I can share all that stuff there without totally disgusting you guys?

Of course I talk to my Mom a lot more these days, and it’s great because One: she’s interested in that stuff being a Mom herself {even to three adults and one teen} Two: she’s a first time grandmother, just like I am a first time Mom so that definitely exciting!

It’s just that I miss being able to connect with my friends.  I miss feeling like they get it.   I miss sharing what’s up with me and having them relate with stories of their own.   And that, everyone, is one of the downsides to being the eldest and being the first to doing almost everything.   It not always that fun.  In fact, sometimes it is down right lonely.

xox,

bonita