Murphette's Laws for the Ladies

I was just randomly walking along and "whoosh!" this gust of wind blows my hair and it gets stuck all over my lip gloss. World shattering? I think not. But it did get me thinking about all the things that are just bound to happen when you are a chick - whether you like it or not.

It's the female version of Murphy's laws I swear, and in all probability ever female on the planet has fallen victim to these laws at least once in her life... So these are the things that I think happen to every lady. Brandish those neatly manicured hands together ladies - we need to stick together against the fates.


1. Put on a fresh coat of lipstick or gloss and a gust of wind will blow your hair and it will get stuck to your lips. Or it'll be a fine coat of dust, or grit - anything that spoils the gloss.

2. The day you wear your cutest, hottest outfit you will NOT meet the guy of your dreams. Guaranteed the one day out of 365 days of the year that you wear your trackies/bag lady outfit he'll come along. And you'll kick yourself for days afterwards.

3. Speaking of guys, you will never have a deep and meaningful conversation with any guy when you look good - oh no. It'll be right after you've spent the day running around, or when you've been drenched in the rain (but not in the good way). You'll be really pleased with how everything went, and then you'll walk into the bathroom and freak.

4. If you don't buy that cute bag/dress/pair of shoes when you see them, they will sell out and you'll kick yourself.

5. After getting your hair styled and set you will never be able to create that exact cute look that your hairdresser assured you would be easy as; leaving your head looking like something the cat coughed up until the cut grows out.

6. The one time you desperately need a guy around to help you carry that heavy bag/tyre/bookcase there won't be one to be found.

7. The one time you sincerely wish all guys would disappear forever due to the fact that you are sick to death of them, they will be everywhere for the taking but you won't want them....

8. You will always ladder your new pair of nylons, but the ones with the massive holes in the them will remain annoyingly intact.

9. You will get ice/chocolate/crumbs down the front of your top at the most inconvenient times - ie, in front of the boy.

10. That embarrassing story/photo will come out when you least expect it...

11. You will spend ages on a manicure but you are guaranteed to either break a nail/chip your polish the very next day.

12. Bra straps break at the worst possible moment.

And finally 13. No matter where you are - us ladies always stick together against the greater enemy - Murphette's laws!

That's all I can think of at the moment, although I am sure there are more.

Ciao girls, b. x