SupA chic

Dear Diary,

I met this guy at a show,
He was singing to me - at least I think so...

Ha. Take off Super [Chick] , I know - but so true. That's how I fell over into a huge crush for... Well, a huge crush on my crush. (Sooo not mentioning any names - you never know who might read this!!!)
I'm still not over him, even after months of mix-ups, not speaking to each other, only MSNing, living (or DIEING) through another girl.... Whaaaa!!!! That still hurts! No, he didn't get her, but he told me alll about it! >< *sigh* and telling him off, ever so slightly, then him being nice to me - *shock*, instead of ignoring my exsistance..... Yeah, I know. I'm so pathetic, yearning after a boy who barely knows me, let alone cares for me. Yet, as much as I would, I can not steal my heart back.

Anyway, enough of pathetic girlyness, - hmmmm, that's so weird. I was just reading over wht I had written, and I think I realise the problem. He is just a boy. So far, not that I can really judge, 'coz he won't communicate with me the important stuff (like the thoughts in his head), he is just a boy. Not a man. ................................

Whoa. That's really big. I guess I would also describe myself - through a guy's eyes, as just a girl too. And maybe that's everything. How can a boy really commit to anything, and how can a boy protect my heart? And how can I, as a girl, be the woman he needs to stand at his side - to give him what he needs. .......................

I've just has a major revelation. What I'm looking for the man I need. Not to live - for all I need for that is God, but just to not be lonely, to have someone who shares how I work, think, what makes me me, and delights in that on this Earth. And for that I need a man. Not a boy. Maybe I should be gald that my crush doesn't notice me. For if he proved to be the man I need, would I prove to be the woman he needs? O. That's a gigantious thought.

At the moment, however, I don't think the guy I like is a man. I don't know for sure, I don't know him all that well, for he won't let me know him well. But in any case, from what I can tell, what he's said to me, he still just a boy - wanting to have fun, and not caring how he gets it.

That's sad. I wish it weren't that way, but it is. What will be, will be.

All in the Lord's timing,

TinkaBell.